Boy with the Striped Tattoos

I grew up too fast.

I know I did. I hated myself for it, in a way. I never got to experience a lot of those childish wonders.

My eyes focused on the pink rocking horse in the toy store I was currently standing in front of, and I felt a surge of want.

Why the hell would I want a rocking chair? I was twenty five and well over six feet. If I sat on it, I'd break it. I knew I would. But the surge of want bubbled in my throat as I just stared through the glass window. My resolve crumbled as I found myself in the shop, staring at the rocking horse again. I didn't need it. I had too much junk in my house already, and I didn't need more..

Even so, I found myself at the register, handing him the money and carrying the pink object home, the pink object that should have gone to a child, that was going to sit in the corner of my closet for a few years until it got too dusty and I took it to a thrift shop.

It'd been a year since I'd returned from war, and I'd found myself doing shit like this. I mean, I guess a couple blanks were to be expected, but..I still didn't know why I did it. I dragged myself along the crowded sidewalk, head down as I hauled the toy I bought with me. I continued to trudge along, head low as I ignored the people in front of me. I was ashamed I guess. I had no clue why I'd been so sporadic, but, I guess I was just feeling a sort of emptiness that only clutter could fill. I had no one to to talk to except for my cats, and the last time I'd slept....

It was too far too long ago to remember. I continued along the road until I wound up at my house. I'd only went out to get a pack of cigarettes, but..here I was, another useless item in my hands. I opened my door with ease, my cat Garfunkel greeting me with a loud and proud chirp. I smiled down at him fondly, waving before shutting the door behind me. I set the toy down and he went to inspect it while I roamed the kitchen. I opened my fridge, hoping for food to magically appear before me.

It didn't.

I hadn't eaten in a few days, and I knew I needed to go shopping. But for some reason, going elsewhere seemed more interesting. Standing in my apartment, I glanced around at the yellowed walls and the gray curtains that hung on my small windows. It was depressing to say the least, and I snorted aloud. Depressed, me? Oh you must be kidding.

Sarcasm intended of course. I shook my head, flopping on my too short couch and contemplating whether I wanted to go out in public and bring home food, or not, but that was quickly answered by my stomach rumbling loudly and contracting painfully.Shit, that probably wasn't good. I rolled around, whining underneath my breath before I grabbed my keys off of the table. It was probably best to drive. As I was about to head out the door, I paused to stare at the the rocking horse I'd brought home. I squinted. It reminded me of something, no, someone. The name was on the tip of my tongue, but all I had was the memory of a boy that I once knew. A quick memorization of me pushing him on swings and laughing flashed before my eyes. The vibrant laughter, the soft smile. My stomach twisted.

Still nothing.

I sighed, slouching forward. I'd remember the name later, I knew I would. I had to. I walked forward out into the biting cold, seething. My teeth chattered as I turned around and locked the door behind me, backwheeling to my car. My shoulders bunched up as I entered my car, sliding in the key into the ignition, revving up the old motor.

Leather was fucking freezing when you were sitting on it, and I couldn't help but whine and seethe. My teeth clacked together.

My car wasn't pretty...in fact, it was probably the ugliest thing I'd ever seen, but it worked. It was this shit green and it was probably out of the seventies. It'd lost it's shine entirely and I'd given up taking care of it for a pretty long time. Right, groceries, I was going to get groceries. Nothing major, just a microwaveable meal or something, since my neighborhood wasn't the nicest after five and I really didn't want to be in a shop at that time, I could get shot. I slowly drove along the road, feeling rain hit my windshield. Well then, I was glad I'd decided to take my car. The rain would hurt my joints even more. I wasn't old, but war had managed to age me more than I would have liked to have been aged by twenty five, but, you take what you can get.

I continued my way along the road until I ended up at my 7/11, stepping out of the car as I strode in. I was the only person in there except for two smaller males. They were a pasty white and they sagged their pants. I squinted. Something was off about them, so it seemed. I headed down the aisle where the microwaveable meals were and grabbed a few, brows raising when I saw two cans of wet cat food. I hummed and took all of them up to the register. I smiled at the cashier, who smiled back weakly. I handed him my items. He seemed nice enough, long blonde hair, green eyes and a gentle smile. He was definitely shorter than me, but...something within his eyes reminded me of something.

No..someone.

A flash of memories whizzed past my eyes. A glimpse at two highschool students walking down the hall. One of them was me, and I hit the man with blond hair on the back of my head. I squinted. He seemed so familiar..

I smiled awkwardly as he rang up my items. He said something but I couldn't hear him.

"What was that?"

"Oh..uh ,will that be all for you sir?"

"Oh, yeah...here," I mumbled, pulling my wallet out and paying for my things. I smiled and turned on my heel, not really wanting to leave him with the hoodlums. I started to head out to my car, hearing my feet scuff against the pavement. I hated the rain. My teeth clacked noisily as I started to close the distance between me and my car until I heard a cracking bang. I turned to feel something pierce through my shoulder. A screech ripped through my throat as I fell to the ground.

My shoulder, I couldn't feel my shoulder.

"Help!"

A voice echoed across the parking lot, a scream that wasn't mine. I felt my body being shifted, and propped up. Warm..the figure was warm.

"I'm not going to loose- like this... Fuck..."

The voice was male, and it would keep fading out, and I could feel myself loosing consciousness. This warmth, it felt so familiar, but why?

I felt my eyes slowly drift closed, welcoming the blackness of my eyelids, feeling..safe for once.